Feeding Joshua

The feeding of Joshua evolved through his NICU stay but I will put it all in one post.

He started out purely on IV nutrition for about a day, then when I was released from American Fork Hospital and was able to go visit him at UVRMC they had me sign a release form for him to have pasteurized human milk until my milk came in. Within a couple of days he was eating just my milk, but it was all going in through a feeding tube. Sometimes a nurse would give him a taste of milk so he could get used to the taste and like it. We learned not to ask the nurses because other nurses would look at us like we were crazy when we asked. The weird part about the beginning of his feedings is that they needed to know if he was digesting the food or not. So before every feeding they would suck stuff back out of his stomach and if it didn't look too bad they would put it back in, but if it looked nasty they would throw it away. That was not my favorite part.

In preparation for breastfeeding they had me do skin to skin holding with Joshua. Brian also held him skin to skin for bonding purposes. A couple of weeks before he would be old enough (based on gestational age) to try nursing Brian was holding him and Joshua started rooting around looking for something to suck on. The nurses and we decided that we could start him on the nursing path a little early.

The NICU has several lactation consultants to help the mothers learn how to nurse. Nursing a preemie is more difficult because of their size and age. They helped us get correct positioning which is even more crucial with the preemie, and they gave me a nipple shield to let Joshua get a better grip to suck since his mouth was so small. He was so small when we started, my boob was significantly larger than his head. I had imagined nursing to be fairly easy and I would just hold him in the crook of my arm, but it was fairly complicated.

The first part of working on nursing is non-nutritive nursing. This is where I would pump right before I went to visit Joshua so I would be empty, then they would hook up his feeding tube and feed him while he practiced nursing. Well that is what is supposed to happen. That night we had a little bit of a frazzled nurse so by the time I actually got to sit down with Joshua it was quite a while past his original feeding time. Then she forgot to hook him up. Brian and I were confused about exactly what was supposed to happen so we just let him suck for a while. Then she came back and we realized that she thought that he was going to do a nutritive feeding instead. I didn't think he had nursed that much, but when she hooked him up he spit up most of his feeding. That was the only time he spit up in the hospital (he came home and spit up a ton, I don't know what the difference was), so I think he was hungry and actually nursed.

After that he got a little cold and after he recovered we decided to try nutritive feeding. To figure out how much the baby was eating we would weigh him before the feeding and after the feeding, and the weight difference would be how much he ate. A milliliter of milk weighed 1 gram, so the conversion was super easy. The first time I nursed him for real, a full feeding for him was 32 ml, the nurse said to be happy if he got anything, and not to expect anything too far over 10 ml. Well Joshua nursed 30 ml that first time. Totally rocked it.

When the babies started nursing they are only allowed to try twice a day. When they nurse at least 3/4 of a feeding twice a day, then they can try three times a day. Then comes four a day, but with a break in between feedings, then 4 in a row/12 hour, then for 24 hours, then on demand.

It only took Joshua a week to go from 2 a day to 3 a day nursings, then we got stuck. One of the reasons is I didn't cut back my pumpings at all and with 3 added nursings my milk supply went from a lot to out of control. So I started choking the poor baby. He had this thing that if he would choke he wouldn't try to nurse for like a week. It took us like 3 weeks to get over 3 a day. He also ended up being fairly anemic during this time (it is normal for preemies to be anemic), and was borderline needing a blood transfusion, but with the lack of blood he was sleepier and less interested in eating. During the 3 a day, he was also able to start drinking out of a bottle. Brian got to give him the bottle, and even though it was really hard for Joshua at first, he soon was rocking the bottle too.

When he got to four a day he was finally nursing consistently. During this time he was able to come off oxygen except for during feedings. A couple of the nurses got it in their heads that he didn't need oxygen during feedings even though he needed the oxygen turned up every time he was fed. So they wouldn't let him have oxygen while he at, and he choked and went on strike again. I was quite annoyed.

The NICU has a baby feeding guru named Annie. She didn't spend tons of time with us, because even though Joshua was slow moving along, he had some really good nursings, and was obviously capable of doing well, and there were alot of babies with more difficulties. When we got to four a day, she left for vacation for a week, and planned on us being home when she came back. She was surprised to come back from vacation and find us in the same place as we were. She promptly gave Joshua back his oxygen for his feedings and within a week and a half he went off strike and we ended up home.

He went home with blowby oxygen for his feedings, where instead of hooking up a cannula with oxygen for his feedings we just blew oxygen in the general area of his nose and mouth. I would just weave it through my bra when I was nursing, but Brian came up with an ingenious way to blow the oxygen on his face when he fed Joshua the bottle. He just taped the tubing right to the bottle.

That is how feedings went with a preemie. I had no idea how complicated it was, until I had my second and she just nursed without any contraptions. Good thing Joshua was my first.

Joshua's first bath

Okay it actually wasn't his first bath, but it was the first time Brian and I gave him a bath. I actually went in that day to try to nurse him, but he had gotten a cold. Joshua was all stuffy and miserable, so I didn't think it was a good idea to nurse him. Our nurse suggested that we give him a bath instead.

We had not been at the hospital for his bath before. They would always do the baths during the night shift, but the nurses were usually busy during the first feeding of the shift, so we would be gone by the time they would give him a bath.

Joshua loved soaking in the warm water he would be super relaxed.

But he didn't really like getting his hair washed.

It was a lot of fun and it seemed to help him feel a little better.

May 29, 2008-Pooping

This night when when we went to visit Joshua one of us started to change his diaper and he started to poop. So while we were waiting for him to fill his pants we noticed that he was making hilarious faces. We only got pictures at the end, so they are toned down a little bit, but we still thought it was funny.

May 28, 2008

When Brian and I went to visit Joshua this day we were surprised to see his face without obstruction. He had yanked everything out of his face. It was fun to be able to see his face; it was the first time we had seen him without tubing. He was doing okay without the oxygen because he hadn't yanked the tubing out that long ago, so we were able to take a picture before everything got put back in.

Superstitions

I went in for my 6-week post baby check up after Minna was born. I asked if there was a reason I haven't been able to carry a baby to term. The doctor said there was no real way to tell with me. So since the doctor is unable to tell me why I have my babies when I do, I will have to rely on my own superstitions. These are the things I think make me go into labor.

1-Complaining about the uncomfortableness of being pregnant. A couple of weeks before Joshua was born I decided that I had been a good uncomplaining pregnant lady long enough and I was starting to get uncomfortable. So I started to whine a little bit, then Joshua was born. When I was pregnant with Minna I waited quite a while to complain. I felt like I should just be grateful I was pregnant, then around 32-33 weeks I decided I was starting to get big and it was hard to sleep. Well then Minna came shortly after. Brian says the kids don't want to make me uncomfortable so when I say that I am uncomfortable they come. So if I have another baby and I am not complaining, its not because I am comfortable or loving being pregnant, I am just trying to cook the baby long enough. But once I hit 36 weeks I will whine away.

2-Ordering maternity clothes online. I can buy maternity clothes from the store just fine, but when I ordered maternity clothes when I was pregnant he was born before they were even delivered. Then I ordered some maternity clothes when I was pregnant with Minna, I got to wear each shirt one time and then she was born.


3-I will have babies around the same time my friend Bree has her babies. Joshua was born 4 days after her first, and Minna was born 3 days before her second.

So since the doctor has no idea why I have my babies when I do, I have my own superstitions, that I may worry about if we have another one.

Feelings from the last few months about the NICU

I debated in my mind whether to put this post in the current stuff blog, or this blog. I decided that while these feelings happened recently, it made more sense to put it with the other NICU stuff.

These last few months I have been suprisingly sensitive about Joshua being in the NICU. I know part of it is just that time of year, where I can look back and go two years ago my life revolved around pumping and going to the NICU. But I don't remember being this upset about it last year. Little things set me off like shortly after Minna was born I was in the store and a new baby always brings comments especially from pregnant women. Well I was talking to this pregnant woman and I asked her when she was due. She said she was 28 weeks along and she was due in September. She then said that she wished that she didn't have to go through the whole summer being pregnant and wished that her baby was here now. Now I know she didn't mean that she wanted to have a preemie just to not be pregnant, but something about her being exactly how far along I was with Joshua and then saying she wished the baby was here, set me off. I had to leave quickly to keep from saying something which probably would have been not nice.

I think part of it has to do with the birth of Minna. I thought that having a baby, especially a more normal baby would make everything easier on me. Part of it is just comparing what life with Minna is like compared to what life with Joshua being a baby was like. I didn't realize how difficult it was to take care of Joshua as a baby, I just did it. I knew it was more difficult than having a term baby, and I secretly envied the life of people with term babies, but I just did it and thought it was a little harder than normal.

Then I had Minna and I realized the difference. I really noticed it when I realized how easy it was to take Minna somewhere. To go somewhere with Minna I just need a diaper bag with diapers and wipes, a carseat, water for me, and a nursing cover. When Joshua was a baby I needed the diapers and wipes, the binky (not really a big deal, except I forgot it one time, and then it was a big deal), the carseat, and a stroller to haul around the apnea monitor, and the oxygen tank, and either a nipple shield, or a bottle of pumped milk to feed him with.

Then to get Minna to nurse I just need somewhere to sit to get her hooked up, and some water and I am good to go. (Sometimes I am literaly going chasing Joshua around while nursing). With Joshua I had to put on the nipple shield, which was sometimes harder than attaching the baby, weave the oxygen tubing through my clothes so it blew around his face, and then try to get him to nurse. Nursing was a project, but a large part of that came from his enlarged andoids and I also realize that nursing Minna is easier because I have nursed before.

I think that Minna's birth gave me the chance to fully recognize the feelings of stress and worry I had about Joshua. I am grateful that Joshua's preemie experience went realitively well. And this rant has made me feel better. I am glad I finally got around to it.

Blog break, because of birth of #2

I will probably be taking a break from this blog for a little while. I was hoping to finish it before Minna was born, but she came 5 weeks early, so I wasn't prepared. You can read all about Minna on my main blog, http://brianandkaraleenixfamily.blogspot.com/, but I learned a few things from her birth, that pertain to Joshua's infancy.

1-Developing in the womb, really is best for the baby. While this may seem like a duh, I was so amazed at how much more advanced Minna was at 35 weeks than Joshua was at 37 1/2 weeks when he went home. She could breath without any oxygen, and after the first day ate really well. So much easier so far I can only imagine what it would be like to have a term baby.

2- The reason the nurses at Joshua's birth thought I wasn't in labor is because during an abruption the uterus clamps up and doesn't release. The monitor looks for changes in the uterus, but since there isn't any change, it looks like there are no contractions. Minna's labor was a lot easier on me, I loved the breaks in between the contractions during her birth. So much easier.

3- I was talking to my dad and later Brian about how in our hospital room there were two Code Blue buttons. Both of them mentioned that there was a Code Blue alert for Joshua when he was born. I wondered how they were able to assemble all those nurses so quickly. Anyway I think that is pretty cool that he had the Code Blue Alert going throughout the whole hospital since everything turned out okay. Not everyone can say that happened to them.

That is all for now, I hope to keep working on this, but it will probably be a little while, since I have lots of other blogging to do, let alone trying to keep up with two kids and maybe sleep occasionally.

May 23, 2008 First Clothes

Two years ago today Joshua got to wear clothes for the first time. I didn't know that he was going to be able to wear clothes in the NICU until like two days before his picc line came out. One nurse mentioned that Joshua could wear clothes as soon as his IVs were out, so I made a mad dash to Wal-Mart because they carry a preemie line.

Here Joshua is sporting his first outfit.

The nurses loved the snaps because it was so easy to dress him over the oxygen tubing and monitors.

It was really fun to be able to start getting clothes for him.

May 22, 2008 No More IVs

When they started Joshua on feedings he was still on IVs for most of his nutrition. As they gradually added volume to his feedings they would reduce the amount of IV nutrition. As they gave him more milk he would gain weight faster, the babies hardly gain any weight on IVs as compared to milk.

The amount of milk he got was based on his weight and how well he has done with his previous feedings. Once he got to the point he was able to get all of his nutrition from milk they were able to take his IVs out! It made it easier to hold him because we didn't have to watch out for the IV/Picc line and worry about dislodging it. It was also wonderful to achieve this milestone and to know he can handle and do well on just milk. He still was taking all of his feedings through the feeding tube at this point. He was not quite old enough to begin trying to nurse.

We took some really cute pictures of Joshua this day, here are some of them.

Eyeing the world

Checking out whats going on

Just happy to be here

Just plain cute

May 16, 2008 BBG

One evening Brian and I went to the NICU to visit Joshua. He was working really hard to breath. We called the nurse over to look at him, and she agreed that he was breathing funny. The NICU has a respiratory therapist and the nurse found him. He looked at Joshua for a minute and decided that he was all stuffy. Instead of using one of the awful blue bulb things, he used a Baby Booger Grabber or a BBG. It was super cool, it was motorized and suctioned everything out and was less harsh on his nose that the bulbs. I wish you could buy them.

And here is a picture of Joshua on that day.

Joshua's Personality

Anyone who knows Joshua well knows that he is fairly outgoing and quite the ham. He was like this even in the NICU. He would smile pretty much from the beginning. Most of these pictures were taken when Joshua was only 10 days old.

We got him this bib that says "Its the Smile that keeps me out of Trouble", because he was so grinny.

Joshua would cause trouble though. One day we got to the NICU and the baby next to Joshua was crying. The nurse said that Joshua would cry just long enough to get the other baby to cry, then he would stop crying. I guess they were going on and off like that all morning. The nurse was glad when we showed up and the other baby's mom showed up so both of the babies settled down.

His nurse took these pictures one night because he was being such a ham. Please ignore the fact he has a dirty face and old tape on, I thought they still came out adorable.

And my favorite picture

Cords, Tubes, Monitors ect

I thought I should take a post to explain the cords and tubes and monitors that were hooked up to Joshua throughout his NICU stay.

In this picture there is Joshua's NICU label which identifies Joshua the same way the hospital wrist bands do. It matches our wristbands for him. -Side note: We thought we had to have our wrist bands to take Joshua home, so we wore them religiously, but after about a month they wore out and fell off. When we brought them in for a replacement, the nurses told us they definitely didn't expect us to wear them until Joshua came home, that a driver's license would be fine if there was any question.

The line coming out of his diaper and down to the left is a IV line that is attached in his umbilical. When that line went bad they put in a normal IV in his hand for a couple of days then they put in a picc line. I was at the hospital with my mom the first time they tried to put in the picc line. It was horrible, they tried for like 15 minutes and I could hear Joshua fussing, but they wouldn't let me near him because the whole area had to be sanitary. Then they failed to get it in. I was about ready to bawl for him, since he was just whimpering. They said they would try again that night. I told them great, but it has to be done before I came back the next morning. The next morning it was in and I guess it went in really easy and he didn't even fuss. He had this in until he moved to full feedings from milk.

The other cord coming out of his diaper is a temperature sensor. It would get loose periodically so we would take his temperature manually. One nurse couldn't get it on right so she covered the poor kid in tape to try to keep it in place. Then it wouldn't even work, so a couple of days later they had to peel all the tape off of his baby skin. So sad. He didn't have to wear this the whole time. I don't remember how long he wore it for though.

The rest of the cords coming off his chest monitor his breathing and heart rate. He wore these to make sure he didn't have apnea or bradicardia. He wore these the whole time he was in the NICU.

In this picture there is a pulse monitor on his foot. I was eventually able to put this on myself, but not quickly. Joshua wore the pulse monitor the whole time he was in the NICU. On his face you can see his oxygen cannula, and the giant stickers that held it on. He wore that until almost the end of the NICU stay when he was able to breath without it. If you look close you can see his feeding tube that goes down his nose into his stomach. He got quite good at taking out the feeding tube, one day he took it out between every feeding. He had the feeding tube in the entire time he was in the NICU too.

My Non Cuddly Boy

We were allowed to hold Joshua twice a day. I would hold him for 45 minutes to an hour in the morning and Brian would hold him for 30 to 45 minutes in the evenings. Most preemies will breath better when they are held by their parents and can have their oxygen turned down. Joshua would usually need to have his oxygen turned up. If we held him too long he would de-sat his oxygen. Sometimes holding him would be stressful, but we kept it up so we could bond with him.

One day I had held Joshua for about 45 minutes and the nurse came by and said she needed to go somewhere for 10-15 minutes and asked me if I wanted to put him back in the bed now, or when she came back. I told her I would wait until until she came back. 15 minutes went by and she wasn't back. Another 15 minutes went by and I started looking outside for another nurse to put Joshua back (we weren't allowed to stand up or move with the babies when they had IVs in them) After another 15 minutes I was able to grab a neonatalogist who put Joshua back.

That night when Brian came to hold Joshua, Joshua fell apart. A preemie doesn't fall apart like a normal baby does by screaming, they do it by breathing poorly. So after a few minutes we asked the nurse to put him back. She said he needed a bath that night and asked if we wanted to help. We did of course and proceeded to help give him a cotton ball bath (more on bathes later) He still was acting really tired, so we were trying to hurry. My parents stopped by to see Joshua not realizing that we would be there. We had to ask them to leave because Joshua was so stressed out.

The next couple of days we were very careful with Joshua and would only hold him for about 30 minutes at a time. Even after he got older and could handle the stress of being held better, we would still have to be sure to leave when we were done holding him, because having us in the room would make Joshua unable to sleep. When he came home he slept in his own room, but once or twice he woke up in the morning and we tried to put him in bed with us. He never could sleep in bed with us. He would get all wound up and want to play with us. Once in South Carolina Joshua woke up and I brought him to bed with Brian and me. Joshua started to cry and wouldn't settle down until I put him back in his pack n play where he quickly went back to sleep. We have let him sleep in his own bed since then.

PDA

One of the reasons they weren't upping Joshua's feedings at the beginning is because he had an open PDA. This is a duct that is open when babies are in the womb to allow blood to bypass the heart. It will close before birth, but with preemies it sometimes hasn't closed yet. This can make breathing and keeping enough oxygen hard for the baby.

There is two ways to treat a PDA the first is with some medicine and the other is to do a minor surgery which staples it shut. Even though the surgery was minor it still seemed scary to do that to such a tiny baby. They also would take him all the way up to Ogden to do the surgery, and we didn't want Joshua to have to make that trip.

They started Joshua on the medicine; the doctors were willing to do the medicine 3 times before resorting to surgery. The first time valve didn't really close at all. Brian and I started praying really hard that the medicine would work and that they would not have to do surgery. The second course closed the valve up most of the way, but not enough. More prayers were said and the third course closed the valve so we were able to avoid the surgery. They also started giving Joshua more to eat once the valve was closed so it seemed like a super double benefit.

We were really fortunate in the NICU the PDA was the scariest and biggest thing we had to deal with and it is a relatively minor problem. But it was a big deal to us.

Now for your viewing pleasure another NICU picture of Joshua just because I think he is cute.

May 15, 2008 Weighing 3 Pounds

I missed blogging yesterday because I got home really late, so today I will do two posts. I am not saying they will be long though.

On May 15, 2008 Joshua finally weighed 3 pounds. He had lost 1 ounce at the beginning and they weren't feeding him very much milk at this point so it took a while to gain the 4 ounces. Part of the reason they were not feeding him too much is because the babies have to show they can handle the feedings. They start feeding them a little bit and then slowly add more as they do well. They would feed him through the feeding tube and then 3 hours later come back and empty out his stomach through his feeding tube to see if he had digested the food. If the milk looked green they would throw it away, but if it the milk looked good, they would put it back in. It was weird to me, but fortunately most of the time he digested the milk just fine. They would also monitor Joshua's output. They would weigh his wet and dirty diapers and keep detailed notes about his diapers.

This is how Joshua looked at 3 pounds.

May 14, 2008 Eyes

I found some of the notes I took of the important events about Joshua in the NICU. The first thing I recorded is when we finally got to see his eyes. Even though they keep the lights down in the NICU, Joshua didn't want to open his eyes enough to look at Brian and me. But on May 14th he finally opened his eyes and looked and focused at both of us. He finally wanted to see what we looked like.

This picture was taken a couple of days later, but here are his open eyes.

Pumping

Brian is on swings this week and it is my goal to do a post everyday because I am getting behind in the posting and I am realizing that the new baby is coming soon. Today I am going to post about pumping because I spent a lot of time doing it.

When Joshua was first born he wasn't able to nurse. Babies at his gestational age hardly have a suck reflex, so they started him on a pacifier really early to strengthen his sucking.

Joshua obviously needed to be fed to grow and to gain the strength so he could eventually learn how to nurse so he was fed through a feeding tube. I will probably do another post about his feedings later.

When the nurse first brought in the pump I thought it wasn't going to work, but I decided to try for Joshua. The first day I didn't get enough to store to give to Joshua. The next day I started to get a little more and Brian worked hard to get every drop out of the pump pieces into the storage bottles. The next day I was making enough to feed Joshua myself. Eventually my body kicked it in high gear and I started making a lot of milk. I probably averaged in the high 30's of ounces made every day. (24-30 ounces is considered a full milk supply). A few times it kind of got out of control and I started making 40-45 ounces a day and I had to start trying to cut back on my milk supply.

I spent a lot of time pumping, it was basically a full time job for me. While I was waiting for my milk to come in I pumped 9 times a day, including 2 times at night. As soon as my milk came in I went down to 8 times a day and only once at night. Towards the end I was doing 6-7 times a day.

I also pumped in tons of various places. I obviously pumped at home. I pumped at the NICU, they had a whole special room dedicated to pumping. It felt like a barn to me, because we would go in to our own little stalls and hook up, and there was a freezer in there. I felt like saying Mooooo many a day I was there. After Joshua came home I bought my own pump, which was good because he wasn't nursing well. I ended up pumping and bottle feeding him when we came East, so I have pumped in many a state in the back of our car.

Storage was an issue, they only had so much room in the hospital, and we only had so much room in our freezer at home. Joshua was only eating 16 ounces a day when he came home and about 1 ounce a day at the beginning, so there was a lot of extra milk. I eventually decided to rent a meat locker after I filled up my freezer, my sister's freezer, and the extra space in my parent's freezer. I got some weird looks when I told the owner of the meat locker what I needed it for.

I got a locker that would hold about 250 pounds of meat. I filled it all up in the 2 months Joshua was in the NICU with excess milk that Joshua didn't need and I didn't dump. (I dumped quite a bit, mostly because I would forget to bring home bottles to store the milk and I couldn't do anything with it). Recently Brian and I bought a chest freezer that holds 250 pounds of meat, Brian was quite impressed when I told him I filled that up. Here is what our freezer looks like.

Unfortunately I had to throw most of the milk away when we moved east because I couldn't donate it because I was on blood thinners after Joshua was born, and the movers wouldn't ship the milk. That was really sad to watch it all go to waste.

Pumping was a lot of work, but it was worth it. Look at how much he grew. Here is is at the beginning.

Here he is right before we came home

And here he is after after right after I finished nursing him.

Love and Support

After Joshua was born I was amazed at the outpouring of love and support from friends and family members. My mom came and visited Joshua at the hospital several times each week. My mother in law flew in the day after he was born to see him. My sister Emily and my mom made several blankets to go over the isolette to keep out the light and to make the area seem more homey. I also recieved many emails of support from family and friends. I am going to compile them here in no particular order.

Karalee, This is Kim Wallace (Alpine Roofing Specialists) I heard about the news today and Mark e-mailed me some picts. How are the two of you doing? It looks like everything went somewhat okay, and it sounded like he is doing as good as can be expected!? I hope all is well, and I just wanted to also tell you Congratulations, let me know if there is anything I can do for you guys. Thanks, Kim P.S. He is a beautiful baby!

Congratulations, Karalee. I hope everything continues to go well for Joshua. Suzanne told me that you think he may be in the NICU until July? Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers! I love the pictures. He is absolutely precious!
Katie

Karalee, I am glad to hear that he is doing ok. What a scary thing! I am glad that there has been no complications or anything major, what a blessing! Let me know if you need anything, especially when he gets home from the hospital, if you ever want a visitor while Brian is gone, I'd be glad to come and help you out. Kristi Chase

Holy Cowl Karalee, don't you know babies are suppose to be 9 months. WOW!! You have had an experience of a life-time just with your very 1st baby. So glad that baby Braxton and Mommy (You) are doing so good. The pictures are Fabulous!!! He is so little but thank heavens for modern technology, huh!....and of course, the Power of the Priesthood!!!! Thanks for sharing everything with us!!--Melody Olsen

Aww, Karalee, he's adorable!!! Congrats! --Anna Cinsey

Karalee- Wow! What a surprise! I couldn't believe it when I read you had your baby. I'm so glad that everything is going alright. Congratulations and we'll keep little Joshua in our prayers. Holly Barlow

Oh my gosh what a surprise. I'm glad to hear he's doing so well. Keep me informed! Are you still going to have a baby shower?
Lindsey Olson

This is from Patrick's mother. Terry
Terry -
I absolutely cannot stop looking at Baby Joshua's pictures. The sight of that little guy lying there and still making it has to make you cry. I took the liberty of forwarding your note to Monty in Indiana, and to our kids, and my good friend, Peggy, who seems to spend most of her time praying.
It sounds like you and his parents went through a very traumatic time. Sarah had told us over the weekend about his premature birth, but I reallydidn't realize you were in Utah until I got the note. It is so very good for everyone that you can be there. I can't imagine the hours you have spent waiting and praying and trying to help.
Please know that Joshua Michael is being prayed for. I had mentioned at the house when Sarah was here that we would need to pray for him. The prayers will continue that he grows stronger and healthier in his little"nest" they have made for him. It sounds like you have a wonderful hospital situation and staff, which makes a big difference, not only in the care that he is apparently receiving, but in the trust you have in those caring for him. Karalee and Brian have been through a great deal,and I am praying for them too.
We are so pleased you included us in your message. When babies come,directly to a family, or babies we come to know about, it is a strong statement about God's presence, and offers everyone a chance to be moved in their hearts. Please continue to let us know how Joshua is doing.Take care of yourself as well. They are so very lucky to have you there.
God in heaven, please bless little Baby Joshua Michael. Strengthen his body, help him grow, keep him from harm and pain, protect him, nurture him. Bless his parents and those who come to his aid and comfort in these difficult days. Give them a knowledge of Your presence in their lives and his, and bestow them with strength and a strong bond to care for each other and the baby they have been blessed with. Let Joshua's life reveal Your great power and mercy.
That's my prayer for this morning.... Love, Pam

Robin is the secretary in The RS. Terry
Hi Terry
Wow, such a tiny precious baby! I am so glad that you are there withthem. I can't imagine what you are all going through - but am sure thathe has the very best doctors and care possible! I will pray for hisgrowth and strength to be more and more every day. Hopefully the timewill pass quickly and successfully, for all.
I was at a wedding just 2 weeks ago, May 2nd. The young man, the groom,was born 28 years ago, premature, weighing just 3 pounds and possibly asearly as your precious one. (The reason that I know that is because thefather talked about his son at the dinner the night before the wedding -and gave the story of his birth) He was their little miracle and is/wasperfect in every way. And that was 28 years ago, and the equipment andeverything is much more advanced now! I feel strongly that your preciousbaby,Joshua, will be perfect in every way and you will be at his weddingsome day. Sending you my love and prayers!
Love
Robin

Thank you to everyone for your love and support. If I didn't include something that you wrote to me I appologize, it just means I was unable to find it after two years, I know I appreciated at the time.

May 12, 2008 Brian gets to hold Joshua

The next morning I got to hold Joshua again. Both Brian's mom and my mom came. Joshua was fussier this morning and Terry suggested that I rock him. I was nervous about this because we had had nurses tell us about overstimulating the babies brains and that rocking could do that. But after a minute I tried and he settled right down. Brian read the Tawny Scrawny Lion to him, we were trying to inspire Joshua to eat a lot and fatten up like the lion in the book. If you look at Joshua now it looks like it worked. Later that afternoon or evening we came so Brian could hold Joshua. I think just Brian and I came this time. I don't know if I even stuck around the whole time, I would usually either come and help Brian get Joshua ready and then go pump, or pump and then come hang out at the end. But anyway Joshua looked so cute with his daddy. He started out in the middle of Brian's chest then slowly moved over, and then finally got comfortable, grabbed Brian's chest hair and managed to put one of his monitors on Brian so it wouldn't go off.

Look how happy Joshua looks just to be with his dad

This became our schedule for the next while, I would hold him in the morning and Brian would hold him in the evenings. We were only allowed to hold him twice a day, so Brian and I hogged all the holdings and wouldn't let anyone else hold him for a long time.

May 11, 2008 First Mother's Day

It was suprising to be a mother for this Mother's Day, since I was not expecting it, but I was excited I might be able to hold Joshua that day. Brian was supposed to speak that day in church and he never got around to writing the talk. I had been bugging him and he said he had a general idea in his head. He was able to get out of it though, so he was glad he saved the effort.

We called the hospital or we went over that morning, I can't remember now, but we got the go ahead for me to hold Joshua that afternoon. Brian and I asked our family to let us do this time alone since we had missed having close family time with our new little family since Joshua was born.

When we went to see Joshua he was under bili lights for gaundice. It is normal for preemies to have it, and easy to take care of since they are already in the hospital they can just shine the lights on them and take care of it. He had to wear a hat and "bili goggles" over his eyes to protect them from the light. Brian really liked how the pictures came out he thought it made Joshua look like an angel.

When I went in to hold him they had me sit in one of the many rocking chairs they have hanging around in the NICU. The nurse also got me some pillows to make me more comfortable. They had me hold him skin to skin, they said it is best for the babies, helps them get to know their parents, and it helps them grow. And it helps bring the mother's milk in, since it is much more natural than the pump. They gave me a special shirt thing to wear, and put Joshua on my chest, and then put a warmed blanket over him to keep him warm.

The nurse gave him his feeding then too, so he would start to associate eating with being around mom. I think he was getting 2 ml every 3 hours at that point. I had to hold him really carefully to make sure his chin didn't fall down. Preemie's windpipes aren't hardened all the way, and if they bend their head forward they can't breath anymore. The nurse had to readjust him a couple of times, but then we got it right.

It was nice to just to be able to hold him. He settled down and seemed quite content and I was able to hold him for about 45 minutes. When we put him back in the isollette he got very upset. He screamed and screamed, and the nurse came and turned him to a new position and he still screamed. The nurse then put him on his stomach and said we would try this position, but other that I don't know what to do. Joshua still screamed, and started pushing himself up the isolette. Imagine a baby doing army crawling, but pushing more with the legs instead of pulling with his arms, and not having any head control, so just pushing the head up too.

I felt so bad because I couldn't pick him up and comfort him. He cried for about 30 minutes until he finally fell asleep. It was really sad to have to put him back, but they said I could hold him again tomorrow morning, and Brian would be able to hold him the next afternoon. So it gave us something to look forward to. Being able to hold Joshua for the first time was a wonderful gift on my first Mother's Day.

The Second Day- May 10, 2008

Brian went down to UVRMC to make sure Joshua was settled in the new hospital and then dropped by our apartment to pick up a few things because I didn't take anything with me to the hospital. While he was gone the nurse brought in the hospital grade pump. When I signed into the hospital they asked me if I wanted to nurse, I assumed they meant when my baby was born term, yes I wanted to nurse. But I obviously couldn't nurse Joshua and fortunately I was willing ot try pumping. I will probably dedicate a post later to the joys and woes of pumping, but that night began the love/hate relationship with the pump.

When Brian got back it was already early, early morning. There was a couch thingy in the room where he was able to sleep. It was a little more comfortable for him then when he slept in the recliner when I was in the hospital with the blood clot. It was almost impossible to sleep, and we ended up giving up when the sun came up. We called down to UVRMC to check on Joshua. He was doing really good, they were starting him on caffine to help him remember to breath. Babies aren't supposed to have to breath for themselves before they are born. So preemies will "forget" to breath having periods called apnea this will also lead to decreased heart rate called bradycardia. The caffine was helping Joshua and they were weaning him off the ventilator and expected him off by the afternoon. They were running tests to make sure everything was okay, and had him on preventative antibotics just in case, but everything was going really well.

Brian went to go get breakfast because we don't like hospital food, while he was gone he called Bree (the friend that had the baby four days before Joshua) and told her to call me. I told her that I had my baby and she was shocked but she came over to the hospital to see me a couple of hours later. I called a few other people to let them know, partly because it kept me occupied. When I had time to think I kept waiting for Joshua to kick me, like I had gotten so used to in the previous weeks. The couple of days before Joshua was born when the problems started I would feel intently for his kicks and they seemed to let me know that Joshua was okay. Now the kicks were gone, it was so weird.

I was ready to get out of the hospital as soon as I could so I could go see Joshua. Brian's mom was able to catch a flight out that day and when she got to the hospital I was almost ready to be discharged. We went home briefly and then went over to see Joshua.

Joshua was off the ventilator by the time I got there, and they had me sign a release form for him to begin eating (his milk came through a NG tube through his nose or mouth into his stomach). My milk hadn't come in yet in any storable form so they gave him pasterized milk from other women with preemies that had donated the milk.

The nurse came over and explained to us that preemie's nervous systems are not developed and they prefer firm touches to stroking. Touch is very important to a preemie like it is for any baby, but light rubbing is very uncomfortable to them. It took me a couple of times to get in the habit, and I felt bad each time I had to be reminded and when I remembered that the first time I saw Joshua I had stroked his leg, but no one told me not to then. I did get in the habit pretty quickly.

One way the nurse suggested to touch Joshua was to have him hold a finger. He had a really good grip.

Joshua also got to hold his Grandma's finger.

We didn't stay too long because preemies need to sleep alot, and I was tired and probably need to pump. The nurse said that there was a good chance that I would be able to hold him the next evening, if Joshua continued to do well. That was really exciting.

Later that evening Brian and I went back with my parents to check on Joshua. When my dad was on the way up he ran into a friend from our ward in Lindon Kristina. She had the same OB as I did and I ran into her a coule of times at the doctor's office. She had twins at about 31 weeks a few weeks earlier. She came over and talked to me and it was so wonderful to see a familiar and friendly face in the world of the NICU. I really think she was sent from God to be some comfort during that time. Kristina took Brian and I over to see her twins I think they were about 5 pounds and they seemed so big.

Then Brian and I went home to sleep since we didn't sleep at all the night before. For the first several weeks I made sure that both Brian's and my cellphones were charged and near us just in case something happened to Joshua during the night. But he was doing so well when we left I was able to sleep really well.

Joshua's Birth Stats

Joshua Michael Nix

Born 9:50 p.m. May 9, 2008

Birth weight: 2 pounds 13 ounces

Birth Length: 16 inches

Gestational Age: 28 weeks 5 days

Hospital: American Fork Hospital

Joshua's Birth

As I was entering the third trimester I was excited. Tax season had ended and I soon would be able to start cutting back my working hours and would have the time to start doing some projects that I wanted to do before the baby was born. It was also spring so the weather was getting better which always makes me happier. And Brian had graduated and we walked together in April. Everything seemed to be going perfect.

On May 8, 2008 as I got ready for bed I noticed that I was bleeding a little bit. It was hardly at all, so we decided to call the doctor in the morning. The next morning we called the doctor and they did not seemed to concerned since I was on blood thinners and everything on my ultrasound from seven weeks ago looked good. They even specifically said my placenta was high on my ultrasound so unless I was having contractions it shouldn't be an issue. I wasn't so I went to work.

Later that afternoon I started having weird pains, but I looked up braxton hicks and they sounded exactly like that. They weren't too bothersome so I just ignored them. This was my first or second day of reduced hours at work so I was glad to leave an hour early. I wasn't feeling well so I went home and laid on the couch until I went and got Brian from work. We were supposed to go to the temple that night, but I didn't feel like going, my stomach hurt and I wanted to lay down. Brian came out from work and said he didn't want to go to the temple that night he wanted to clean our bathroom. I thought it was random, but our bathroom did desperately need to be cleaned because we had recently booted our cats outside, but before then, they would be put in the bathroom when we were gone and the bathroom was covered in cat hair.

We then rented Hairspray and ate dinner. I was starting to feel really uncomfortable and started watching the clock to see how close together my pains were. I was in total denial that I could actually be in labor, and I didn't want to be one of those people who go to the hospital when they aren't actually in labor. I also started kicking Brian every time I had a bad one. (I might have been in a bigger hurry to go to the hospital but my bleeding had pretty much stopped). After watching the clock I realized that these could be contractions and told Brian and he called the doctor but we just got the answering machine, and so then we called my mom. My mom and dad were at a play and we just happened to call during intermission. My mom told us not to wait for the doctor to call back but to go to the hospital right then.

Well I refused to leave without brushing my teeth because something we had for dinner had a lot of garlic in it. Brian was a little upset, but I wasn't leaving without brushing my teeth. I brushed my teeth and then used the bathroom and started bleeding heavily. We then rushed out the door to the car.

Brian drove to the hospital as fast as he could. He wasn't worried about the police, he figured if we got pulled over we might get a faster ride to the hospital. We never did, but Brian did have to slam on the brakes a few times really heavy which made me have really hard contractions. We made it to the hospital and my parents met us there. I walked to the emergency room where I was promptly put in a wheel chair and taken up to labor and delivery. When we got up there I was excited to see my doctor was already there. He was the doctor on call that night.

At this point I wasn't actually too worried because I knew there was medicines that could be used to stop labor. I was convinced they would just give me the medicine and I would either be on bed rest in the hospital or at home for the next few months but there was no way I was having that baby that night.

They hooked the monitors up to me to look for contractions and to watch Joshua's heart beat. The contraction monitor must have been placed wrong because I was early because it wasn't picking up the contractions. That was frustrating because I thought if they would realize I was in labor they would give me the medicine and everything would be okay. I just thought that as long as Joshua wasn't born they could stop the labor and make me just wait to have him. I was also annoyed with the pain of being in labor because I didn't see the point, I couldn't possibly be having the baby that night, so why didn't they just stop it. (I have since figured out that stopping the labor wouldn't have done anything for my case anyway, and the drugs are not a cure all, and talking to friends that have been on them, the drugs are quite miserable to take).

The doctor was quite absent, he said he was waiting to be able to send me up for a ultrasound. Later when I went in for my 6 week check-up he said he felt like he shouldn't send me up for an ultrasound, and after the birth he realized that Joshua would have been born up in the ultrasound area, and would have probably died. So I was quite grateful that he hung back and waited, even though it was annoying at the time.

During this time they did give me a percoset for the pain. It didn't really do too much, my labor had picked up quite a bit by the time it kicked in. I was also feeling a little nauseous, and often I will cough when I feel nauseous and it makes me feel better. I was coughing quite a bit and my mom was convinced I developed a lung infection in the last hour. By that point I was almost in transition or in transition so I wasn't able to tell her why I was coughing I just told her I was fine and she didn't really believe me. She was also trying to teach me Lamaze breathing while I was in labor, I never did pick it up.

After a while the doctor came in and said that the baby wasn't handling the contractions well and that they were going to do an emergency c-section. I thought they were going to do a spinal block and I was scared because I didn't know how I was going to be able to hold still long enough for it. I later found out that they were probably just going to knock me out. They took me back to the operating room and Brian was waiting to see if he could come in and be with me. The doctor asked me if anyone had checked me, and I said no. He checked me and popped my water. He then told me to push, I pushed twice and Joshua was out and handed to the team of nurses.

The doctor went out and told Brian that he had a baby, but he didn't know if it was a boy or a girl because he handed the baby off so fast. Brian fortunately knew that Joshua was a boy from the ultrasound and was able to come back with me. While the doctor was gone I was just laying there in shock telling anyone who walked by that my baby wasn't supposed to be born yet. One of the nurses working on Joshua told me if I listened real carefully I could hear him crying, and I could. -I later learned from a nurse that was working in the NICU that was one of the nurses that took care of Joshua the night he was born that Joshua was almost able to breath on his own (hence the crying), but he did end up having to be bagged and then put on a ventilator for a while.

Brian came back in and they sewed me up (Joshua came so fast they had to cut me a little bit), and starting pushing blood out of me. They told me I had a placental abruption which basically means my placenta tore off from where it was supposed to be. It made me bleed a lot, so they had a lot of blood to push from me. They then took me back to the labor and delivery room and hooked me up to pitocin to try to slow the bleeding. My mom stayed with me while my dad and Brian went down to the nursery to see Joshua. They were getting ready to take Joshua down to Utah Valley Medical Center (we were at American Fork Hospital). My dad has a camera phone so they took some pictures and brought it up to me.

They wouldn't let me go down to Mother and Baby where Joshua was because I was still bleeding too heavily and there are less nurses down there to take care of you. My dad said that Brian was going to go down to give Joshua his name and blessing. I was really upset because this was something I was really looking forward to, and now I was going to miss it. I asked my dad if he thought Joshua was going to die, he said probably not, but we shouldn't wait for the blessing just in case. I was quite upset. Fortunately the nurses worked it out with the transport team to bring Joshua up to my room before he went down to Provo so I could see him and I could be there during his blessing.

When I first saw Joshua I realized that everything was going to be okay, he looked a lot better than I expected. I was able to touch him for a minute, and then Brian gave him a beautiful blessing. Then they took him down to UVRMC. Brian rode down in the ambulance with him, and my dad drove down to our apartment to get some things for us including our camera. My mom stayed with me and they gave me a shot and my bleeding finally slowed enough to take me down to Mother and Baby.

Brian went down and made sure Joshua was settled and taken care of and took a few more pictures and then came back to be with me.

Pregnant with Joshua

I want to blog about Joshua's birth and NICU experience before the new baby is born. But since I am so slow at this blog I thought I should skip ahead and talk about his birth, and then go back and fill in the years in between. So here is the story of how Joshua got here.

Brian and I had wanted a baby for a while. We had been trying for a while and I was going through school as fast as I reasonably could. The main problem for us getting pregnant is that I wasn't having periods....at all. I don't really know why, and the doctors said it wasn't worth the time and money at this point to figure it out, they just put me on drugs to make me have periods. Those drugs were miserable, I felt so much worse than I do when I am pregnant, and I gained weight faster than I do when I am pregnant too. Well the drugs finally worked (the drugs also make it harder than normal to get pregnant), and Brian and I were so excited. We even went to the DI and bought a crib. (Which after reading all the recalls on cribs was probably a bad idea, we donated it back to DI before Joshua was born.)

But 4 days later I miscarried. That was devastating because we had been trying for so long, and the timing seemed perfect I would have been due after I graduated and not long before Brian graduated. Looking back we are grateful that Joshua came a little later, because if that pregnancy had carried out just like Joshua's the baby would have been born over my finals, and Brian would have had a semester with a baby in the NICU. Having Joshua in the NICU was stressful enough when we were both done with school.

The doctor said I needed to wait a few months to try again, and I went off the devil fertility pills. Amazingly I started having periods without the pills. As soon as we could we started trying again. I was late so I took a pregnancy test right before Thanksgiving. It came back negative, I thought I would have to go back on the pills, but didn't have time to deal with it right then. We went down with my family to visit my grandparents in Hurricane, Utah. We had a lot of fun, but I was a little sleepy, I took a 3 hour nap while everyone was playing around me. I don't usually nap.

When we got back to Provo we decided to take another pregnancy test before I got back on the pills. It came back positive, but Brian and I thought the test was broken because of the way the lines came up, so I sent him back to the store for more. The next day I took another test, and I thought I was pregnant, but Brian was still not sure. So the next day I took another pregnancy test and we decided that I was indeed pregnant!

We called the doctor and set up an appointment for an ultrasound to get a due date. We went in and the doctor looked and said well you are pregnant there is the egg sack, but there is no heart beat. It is probably too early, so we will take some blood now and some in a couple of days to make sure your hormone levels are rising, and we will do another ultrasound next week.

So they took my blood and my hormone levels were way up, they were high enough that there should have been a heart beat. The doctor said not to worry yet, it should double in the next two days, and if it does it means your body is still keeping the baby and things are developing. In the meantime Brian flew to New York to interview with his current employer KAPL. He flew out on Sunday and then I went to the hospital to get my blood drawn again. After that I went to my parents house for dinner. My mom was out of town visiting her parents so it was just Emily, Nathan, and my Dad. On the way there the doctor called me and told me my blood hormone levels were going up, but not enough so I probably would loose this pregnancy. I was devastated, but went to my parents house and ate dinner without saying anything. I did take a cry break in the bathroom.

I left rather quickly and was finally able to get a hold of Brian on the phone and bawled all the way home. I was so upset I didn't even lock the door that night. Amazingly after that Brian did really well at his interview and got the job. Brian wasn't quite sure that everything was lost, and when we went back in for the ultrasound that week, there was Joshua's heartbeat. I guess my body was really excited about being pregnant and so I had high hormones or something. We went in for another ultrasound just before Christmas and everything looked good then too.

We decided to tell our family that we were pregnant over Christmas, which was really fun because everyone was so shocked. We made homemade frames that said World's Best Grandpa on them and gave one to my dad, and emailed one to Brian's dad and step dad. (It would have cost $50 to get it to them in time for Christmas, so they got digital gifts).

The rest of the pregnancy was pretty uneventful up until Joshua was born. I took Lovenox almost everyday to keep from getting a blood clot and worked full time, while Brian was going to school. I was lucky because I didn't have to work tons of overtime even though it was busy season, which was good because I was pretty tired.

We were convinced Joshua was a girl and called him that up until the ultrasound. I guess he was sick of it because there was no mistaking him for a girl. He was also a jealous little kid. The beginning of May my friend had a baby and Brian and I went to visit her. I never got kicked so hard by Joshua as when I was holding her baby. I think he was upset she was here and he wasn't because he came four days later.

Well that's the story up until Joshua was born.

Blood Clot

The winter semester I was surprised to find my leg was sore. I tried to walk it out and tried to stretch it out. A couple of days later I was trying to shave my legs and found when I put my weight on right leg it got really swollen and turned purple. For some reason I had it put in my head that I had a blood clot (I don't know why I knew this except for inspiration, because I thought a blood clot and a clogged artery were the same thing and didn't know anything about either of them). I didn't want to go to the emergency room, so we went to an instacare center. The instacare center said they couldn't do anything and sent me to the emergency room.

At the hospital they took me and did an ultrasound type thing on my right leg. The technician was super confused because she saw all these veins without blood in them, she decided that I had an extra vein system in my leg that wasn't being used and she couldn't find the normal veins. The doctor said that I had a blood clot in my leg called a DVT. I said great give me some pills and I will go home. He said I couldn't go home because those kinds of blood clots are dangerous because they will break off and head to the lungs. I had some already in my lungs (I can't remember how they knew that though, if they heard me breathing funny, or if they looked at my lung somehow). Anyway he said I would have to stay in the hospital for a day until my blood started to thin to make sure I would be okay. Then a nurse came in and gave me a shot of Lovenox in my stomach.

I was super upset about being admitted to the hospital I had it in my head that I would be going home that afternoon. I had been at the hospital all day and that was enough for me. Brian went home and got some stuff and stayed the night with me. Poor guy slept in a bad recliner every night he stayed at the hospital. I was on orders not to get out of bed except to use the bathroom, and I had to beg for that concession. They were worried that me moving around would dislodge the blood clot and send it to my lungs. My parents were also in and out of the hospital and brought us better food than hospital food.

The next day the doctor came in and said that there was a new procedure that they could do where they would go in and put a filter in my vein to protect my lungs, and then break up the blood clot. He said it was better on the vein and the filter would eliminate the risk of the blood clot hitting my lungs. He said it would make me stay in the hospital a little longer. After I talked to Brian we decided to do it. They did it the next day.

They put me under conscious sedation and gave me some painkillers, and they also gave me some medicine to make me not get sick from the painkillers, the last medicine also made the painkillers work better. Then they put a hole in the underside of my knee and drilled out as much of the clot as they could. Then they put a catheter in my leg and put heavy duty blood thinners onto the rest of the clot. The catheter would hurt whenever I moved my leg, or whenever I was moved. But as long as I laid still it was okay. They also put a giant IV thing in a vein in my neck. It allowed them to put in all the medicine they wanted without having to move IVs.

They had not let me eat anything the day before because of the procedure. They planned on taking the catheter and the neck IV thing out the next day. So they didn't let me eat again. Well they let me have liquids, Jello, bad chicken broth and juice. I was also put in ICU because there wasn't enough beds in the intermediate unit for me. Brian couldn't stay the night with me while I was there, but he stayed until 10:00 at night and was back at 6:00 the next morning.

The next day they went to remove the catheter. They found the clot was still there too much to take it out, so they sent me back. Until this point they had only been giving me a half dose of painkillers, but they moved me around too much too fast, and I felt totally out of control (I wanted them to wait just a minute before moving me around all the time, but they were in a hurry to get all the moving and pain over with), so when I got back to my room I got a full dose of medicine and slept for a while. When I woke up there was still more than 24 hours before they were going to take the catheter out, so I got to eat a real meal. You aren't supposed to bring food into ICU, but Brian was able to sneak me in some real food. It was wonderful to eat before another 24 hours of liquid diet.

The next day they took the catheter out and sent me back to a normal room. I was going home the day after! I had been there since Sunday morning and finally on Friday I would be going home. Brian was able to stay the night with me again, which even though the chair he slept in was uncomfortable, he slept better there then he did at home alone. The next day Brian had to go back to school and so my mom came to help me get checked out. While we were waiting for the doctor to come say I could go home my Junior Core group came in and helped me know what I needed to do to get caught up.

When I was finally released they gave me a pass to go get a handicap parking pass for a few weeks while I recovered. My mom drove me from the hospital to the pharmacy where we got more Lovenox and some Warfarin. I had to be on the Lovenox until the Warfarin kicked in. I was on the Warfarin for 6 months, and my body had a hard time regulating it so I had to go in weekly (most people go in monthly) almost the entire 6 months to make sure my blood was in between the 2 to 3 range for thinness. (1 is normal consistency). I got as high as 5 a couple of times, I swear I got more sensitive to that stuff as I went along.

After we went to the pharmacy we went to the DMV to get the handicap parking pass. At that point I was exhausted and looked awful so the lady at the DMV decided I was worse than the doctors thought and gave me a couple extra months usage with the pass. I think I only parked in an actual handicapped spot once or twice and that was the next week to go get the filter removed from my vein. But I did park in professors parking the whole time which was wonderful.

I don't have any adverse effects for the clot now. They decided I got the clot because I was on the birth control pill and they diagnosed me with Factor Five Lieden (the hormones and Factor 5 greatly increase the risk of blood clots), so I am not allowed to take it anymore, and I have to take daily shots of Lovenox when I am pregnant. I also have to be careful on long trips and make sure I move around enough and sometimes I take a baby aspirin to be safe. But other than that I am good.

First Married Christmas

For our first Christmas we were really excited and wanted to get a tree even though we would be celebrating Christmas with our families. We wanted to have some Christmas cheer to help us through the last projects of the semester and through finals. We were able to find a good deal on a little tree that we still use.

My parents gave us the ordaments that people had given to me over the years and few things they didn't want. Then we made a fruit loop garland and bought candy canes and chocolate balls and hung them on the tree and ate them throughout the season.

We wanted to spend Christmas day with my family and then fly out to Tennesee for most of the rest of Christmas break. We also wanted to come back a few days before the semester started to give us a chance to buy our books and restock the fridge. Well we couldn't get tickets early enough to give us a significant amount of time in Tennessee unless we flew out on Christmas. So we spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with my parents and then flew to Tennessee the rest of Christmas Day.

It was really warm in Utah that Christmas Eve. Instead of doing a typical winter activity like sledding we went biking down by Utah Lake because there was no snow.

We also opened several presents on Christmas eve to make sure there was enough time to open them all Christmas Day before Brian and I had to fly out. (Christmas takes a little longer at my parents house because we see what Santa brought us, then we take a break and feed the animals so they can enjoy Christmas too, before we open the rest of the presents).

That year my parents got us a camping tent as one of our main presents. We thought that was a good idea so we could go camping the next summer. After we opened presents we got on a plane to Tennessee. We made it to Knoxville by 11:30 that night. So technically we were in Utah and Tennessee on Christmas. We made it to Brian's mom's house a little after midnight. Brian's siblings weren't too happy about having Christmas almost a day late. So when we got there we opened presents right away.

Terry and Bob had also given us a really good gift that year. They bought us a tent.

We got a good laugh out of that one, but we were able to exchange it for some sleeping bags. Along with the camping gear Brian's siblings gave us we were all set to go camping.